Welcome to Burdet-tiquette, where Lisa Burdette, founder of The Dallas School of Etiquette and a mother of six with global expertise, answers your questions on the art of courtesy.
A resurfaced clip of Katy Perry on the Call Her Daddy podcast has again gone viral. In it, the international pop music sensation recalls being young and broke— and stuck splitting her 14 friends’ dinner bill.
“I had a glass of water, a side salad— and then at the end everybody’s like ‘let’s just split the bill!'” Perry said.
@callherdaddy Look at how far she has come 🥹🧡
Strapped for cash and panicking, Perry says she went to the bathroom to freak out. “My debit card [was] shaking,” she added.
Luckily for Perry, someone else intervened and covered the unforeseen expense.
But let’s say you can’t depend on the kindness of strangers, or even worse, this has happened to you in the past, and you had to cough up dough you did not have; what do you do next time?
Do you stand up and demand that everyone pay their own bill? Do you pay the money just to avoid an awkward moment? Do you run out of their restaurant, screaming and hide?
The Dallas Express asked Lisa Burdette how you can handle this viral etiquette question.
Lisa’s Response
In this video, American pop star Katy Perry shares a personal story about when she struggled to make ends meet years ago. If you ever find yourself in a situation like Katy Perry, my advice is to make honesty your best policy. When truth precedes prayer, mercy often occurs, and we are granted “breaks” in life.
In addition, I recommend always carrying extra cash, such as a $50 bill. This way, if you are in an awkward situation, you can provide something to the other party and show that you are not a deadbeat.
Next, take time to study where and with whom you plan to socialize. Always look over the restaurant and get to know your audience. Remember, if you have exhibited a sense of gratitude and humility throughout the evening, chances are someone will always cover you. When that happens, give thanks to God and prepare yourself to cover others in need. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
A Personal Story
Katy Perry’s story feels very real to me. I remember one time when I was a Delta flight attendant in the 80s and took a taxi from the Atlanta Airport to Buckhead (some 45 miles) to meet my future husband for dinner. On the trip, I realized my wallet was missing, and I was in a panic as to how I was going to pay my $50 taxi fee.
As we drove up to my future husband’s home, I saw him standing on his steps, smiling and waving. I was embarrassed to ask him for money, so I began to think of how to pay the driver. I had a few extra sandwich meals in my bag that were left over from the plane. Thank heavens I had worked in first class, and they were premium food items from Delta.
I told my driver that I had no money, but would he consider the food I had in my bag as payment for my cab fee? He looked at the beautifully wrapped snacks and, to my surprise, said: “Of course!” Over the years, this kind man became a regular cab driver for my family.
The moral of my story is that truth is the best policy. If we share our crisis, we can often be touched by kind souls who grant us mercy when we are in crisis.
About Lisa
Lisa Burdette is the founder of The Dallas School of Etiquette, where she trains everyone from executives to cadets in the timeless art of courtesy. A mother of six and a graduate of Auburn University, she has studied etiquette in London, Paris, Washington, and beyond. She believes true etiquette isn’t about being fancy — it’s about how you make people feel.
Readers can send their etiquette questions to [email protected]
Missed the last column? Click here to read:Burdet-tiquette Rapid Response: How To Handle An Accidental Wedding Invitation
