These final steps through 2025 bear the weight of nearly 365 days of cataloged experiences, many of which are already forgotten or faded.
In truth, each step bears the burden and blessing of my full age; yet I confess I have aged more this year than most.
Maybe it was the unease in the world… it was both palpable and spiritual.
Fewer places felt safe, and many, including myself, kept watch for the one who might cause harm.
Maybe it was that, as well as the eruptions I didn’t see coming, or those that I did, but couldn’t or didn’t avoid.
Perchance, it was my heightened habit of managing responsibilities while minimizing care for myself.
And I cannot forget the lingering difficulties that composed themselves like stories refusing to end: chapters of hurdles, payments, work, health, and concerns for loved ones.
I rarely say it out of fear of sounding ungrateful and thus feeling worse, but I am looking forward to a new year.
Not that anything magical will happen because a year changes, but in knowing each day is another miracle… an unblemished opportunity, well, I welcome them all with the hope of a child.
I am thankful for the blessings of 2025, for there were many. Some, even, spectacular.
I have not forgotten them… these lanterns from God that soothed my tired mind and bones and often left me in humble adoration.
I do not believe in making a practice of speaking of what’s wrong more than what’s right.
I only share such vulnerabilities and rawness simply to be real with God, myself, and you, as I trust we can learn from one another, and often relate in our own way.
It has been a hard year, not as a complaint, but more as a confession of acknowledgment.
I survived, even if my armor has been dented. Whatever came only to steal and kill and destroy could not alter the core of who I am: God’s.
I experienced everything with the peace that comes with following Christ as my Savior.
In this, a steady joy remained, even in my tears and moments of total frustration. It was, and is, heavenly, making this temporal world seem small in comparison.
Yet, this small world is deeply broken and can cut deeply with its jagged edges.
Days stacked upon days; nights often ended with little restoration.
Many times, I was entrenched in routine and “have to,” forgetting how expendable most everything is compared to our true purpose.
I just kept going, mostly grateful for the time and talent to be of use, albeit tired.
I filled slots and checked the boxes until time itself told me the day was done, despite my body telling me much, much sooner that I was done.
In fairness, I knew what I needed to do differently, but I didn’t have the safety net to take such risks.
Is it a safety net or faith that I speak of?
That is a question I will ponder more deeply, as faith, when looked at in life, is a safety net built from intimate experiences with God that extends and transcends yesteryears into days yet to be lived.
In searching for a more basic answer, maybe I just didn’t have the energy to succeed or fail any more than I was already doing.
Anything more or less disrupted my footing.
I was carrying all that I could handle, often with poor posture; sometimes, with an equally poor attitude, which I fought silently and prayed I rarely revealed to others.
I would tire myself to the point of being so heavy in step and thought that I couldn’t move — even the thought of it exhausted me.
It was then, when I quietened myself — really stilled myself — that I would recognize the presence of God in and around me. It was always there… I just kept blocking the view or was positioning problems and people in front of Him.
I believe God gave me more than I could handle so that I would have to depend upon Him to move.
And I just keep going, hopefully a little wiser, trusting God to show me what to pick up and what to put down.
The next best step.
Then the next.
Sometimes a simple step is not so simple.
Sometimes we need to simply celebrate progress, even if it still looks messy and the story is still being written.
As 2025 inks its final lines, I thank it for its time and lessons and am eager and hopeful for what is to come.
God has always been with me and leads me, and I belong to Him, despite my many faults.
Grace through Christ makes me beautiful in His sight, even when I feel less than.
In truth, my story has an ending as much as it has a beginning, both written in Christ’s sacrificial, unblemished blood.
And I will continue to trust the author and perfecter of my faith.
Thank You, Lord, for each day You gift.
I praise You. Always.
This column was initially published by CherryRoad Media. For more inspirational articles, follow ©Tiffany Kaye Chartier.
