Welcome to Burdet-tiquette, where Lisa Burdette, founder of The Dallas School of Etiquette and a mother of six with global expertise, answers your questions on the art of courtesy.
With numerous Christmas parties and the biggest holiday of the year approaching, The Dallas Express is curious about the tips that DFW’s Queen of Etiquette might offer readers for managing the dietary needs of their holiday guests.
From vegans to allergy sufferers, the style savant of the South, Lisa Burdeette, breaks down how to solve any dietary dilemma.
Lisa’s Response
Ultimately, the host has the responsibility to ask guests (prior to a holiday celebration or party) if they have any dietary restrictions. One way to do this is by sending an email or making a notation at the bottom of the formal invitation about dietary needs. Give your guests a window of time to respond to you.
Next, be prepared for special requests to come in at the last minute. If you receive requests after your guests arrive, here are a few tips on how to always be prepared.
How to be the Perfect Host or Hostess
- Send written or email invitations asking for any special dietary requests. I always call my guests if I have not heard from them.
- When preparing your menu, always include sugar-free, gluten-free and nut-free items. This will cover a lot of allergies.
- If you are hosting a family event, send out a schedule with a menu. This will help prompt guests to make any requests.
- A buffet-style meal is suggested, so you can add labels in front of each dish with ingredients listed. This allows guests to read the labels when selecting food for their plates.
- Keep toppings such as nuts, butter, and dressings separate and make sure they are labeled.
- Make sure that you have alternate dishes available. For example, if you know you have family members with diabetes, prepare a dish of blueberries with whipped cream as an alternative dessert option.
- Make certain you have proper serving utensils for all dishes with a dish underneath them to prevent cross-contamination.
- If you know you have guests with severe allergies, have an EpiPen on hand.
- Book a pet sitter ahead of time if you have a relative allergic to cats and dogs.
Remember, no one should ever be singled out. When serving a “special request” item, do not verbalize this guest’s needs in front of other guests. For example, my mom has diabetes, and I might offer her a bowl of fruit in place of pumpkin pie. I would let her server know her dietary need ahead of time, and I would not verbalize this to other guests.
Do not be afraid to introduce new dishes to your family and friends. If you know about food intolerances, prepare something for them on your menu. Upon arrival, let this guest know that you made something special for them. If you are attending and not hosting, always bring a dish that meets your own dietary restrictions.
Focus on the Celebration
Make this holiday season a time to focus on people and not just food. After all, food is designed to give us energy and is not for overindulging.
Although food is an important part of the holidays, it is secondary to fellowship. Plan games and ice breakers to connect, reconnect, and build lasting relationships. Make a commitment to focus on your friends and family. Put your phone away and make yourself present in a genuine way. Above all, maintain a servant’s heart.
I must admit, I sometimes struggle and must pray for mercy and a humble heart. I work hard and place high expectations on myself, so when a relative shows up with an attitude and a list of special requests, I stop in that moment, drop to my knees, and pray for a transformed heart. The key is prayer. You will never be or do enough. Instead, concentrate on the needs of others, and you will be fulfilled and blessed. Happy Holidays!
Readers can send their etiquette questions to [email protected]
