Opinion: When the Police Won’t Help

Police officer | Image by sirtravelalot

If you asked a police officer for help, would you expect them to help you? What do you think happens when they don’t? In all jobs there are good and bad people, but when we are talking about the same people who are supposed to help us, how do we weed out these bad people? Unfortunately, we see articles like this almost every month now, if not every week. If this is not here in Texas this is happening in other states as well.

Or this.

Or something like this, and you might think this is minor, but it’s not.

Most police departments do a psychological evaluation before hiring a police officer, and if they aren’t, they should, because that way they can make a better decision about who should be hired. Unfortunately, some police departments do not listen to what the experts tell them. They should, because then they end up with someone who can become a problem.

What if you were in a domestic abuse situation and asked the police for help? Would you expect them to help you? I hope the majority if not all of you reading this will say yes. What happens when they don’t? Things like this, because victims who are reporting abuse are not being taken seriously.

Or this.

Or perhaps abusers are released on bail when they never should have, because then they end up harming their victim even further. The Court needs to find a way to keep these dangerous abusers in jail until trial.

Or this happens.

Victims of abuse understand what abusers are capable of, so why don’t the police do it? Why is it that most judges don’t understand this? If victims get help, it is minimal, or not done correctly, or no help at all. The police are trained right, but is it the right kind of training, because I would have to say that it isn’t? Some police departments offer mental health help and send out people who are specially trained in this, so why don’t they have people who come out to help victims of abuse? Things like this should not be happening. She had warned the people and no one was listening. Why is it that the authorities are still not listening?

Then we have what happened concerning Angelina and Brad. There is no doubt about this, because it took place on a plane and as a former flight attendant I can tell you that this would have required the flight crew to report the incident, especially if it caused or was going to cause a delay. Yet somehow people still seem to think that what happened wasn’t a big deal. Anytime domestic abuse happens, this is a very big deal, and especially when children are involved. Yet somehow the authorities managed to make light of this, and I don’t care who asked for privacy, because once again the crew would be obligated to report this. The abuser made the decision to make this public, so there was no privacy from the start. The other thing that people don’t seem to understand is that this is a private judge, and the majority of us don’t have this kind of money to be able to do this. Instead, we take whatever we get, and if things don’t work out as we hope, we have to ask for a new venue, and hope that in the meantime we don’t anger the judge we currently have. This is obviously not good for victims of abuse, because they are already dealing with so much. People say money isn’t everything, but when you don’t have it, or your abuser took it away from you, it matters. This matters, because victims need it for help, an attorney and anything else they may need, groceries, necessities, etc. In our situation, our abuser took everything, every single penny, closed accounts, and even took money from education funds, paid off the car he took, and much more. Yet, no judge would order him to put it back, especially to give back the money he took that was meant for a college education, and no, he was not in college, but our child was, and the judge knew that too.

Now let’s talk further about what happened to us, because when we went to the police because of domestic abuse we got no help. None. Not only that when I tried to get their chief to help, he made things much worse for us. It was just one thing after another concerning our abuser, and they did nothing to stop him from harming and harassing us. They knew he was stalking and threatening us on a daily basis. They knew he had abused, and killed our dog, held two people against their will, stole money, our mail, other items that he was ordered not to take, and the list goes on and on. Would you like to know that this can also happen to you? Would you like to know that your mom, your daughter, your sister might have to deal with this same thing if they needed help concerning domestic abuse? If you read this article I wrote, this explains some of what happened to us. This played a major role in everything that followed, and yet nobody in this police department cared, and yes if an abuser abuses, and kills your pet this is definitely domestic violence. This is called coercive control, mental abuse, because the abuser is using someone that you truly care about to control you, to control the situation.

The point that I am obviously trying to make is how do you think this can be fixed? Can it even be fixed? I think it can, but this would require an individual who oversees the local police departments more often, and this special agent should in no way be associated with this particular department. If they know even one person then the agent should be reassigned to another location. This should require a review every three to six months. If the special agent is seeing signs that particular officers are not capable of doing their job then they would be under strict supervision, a warning system. If they have had former disciplinary action then they would be terminated immediately. If you are not familiar with this you should be, because this should not be happening. It’s not just about the repeat offenders. It’s about the laws. Where are the laws that actually protect the victims, and not the abusers?

There’s also this.

How could anyone watch this, and not think who failed these people? Yes, the child too. How many times did they not address the abuse prior to this happening? What if the child was there? What if there was no video camera? Thankfully there was. He violated the protective order six times, and the police did nothing, the judge did nothing. Six times. Think about how scared they must have been the first time he violated the protective order, and then he did this five more times until he did this. One time is one too many. Victims have protective orders for a very good reason. Whoever made these mistakes needs to be punished, and removed from their jobs. We need a national registry for domestic violence abusers, so if they come back to Court even once the judges can see their name on a computer, and this would mean an automatic jail sentence for them.

There is also this involving a fourteen-year-old girl. Yes, there was a history of domestic violence, and just like so many others, it was not properly addressed by the authorities.

Now you’re probably thinking file a complaint. Many victims do just this. We did, and still no help. Victims of abuse are asking for help on a daily basis, and nothing happens. There’s a way to prevent deaths, but instead, the Department of Justice says this,

“We do not have the resources to follow up on or reply to every letter. If your concern is not within this Section, you may wish to consult the Civil Rights Division web page to determine whether another Section of the Division may be able to address your concerns: www.justice.gov/crt. Again, if you are writing to report a crime, please contact the federal and/or state law enforcement agencies in your local area, such as the Federal Bureau of Investigation or your local police department or sheriff’s office.”

This kind of reply must be the standard, because if they actually bothered to read the complaint why would the DOJ be telling you to contact your local police when they are what you are complaining about? Then they tell you to contact the FBI, and when you do this you are lucky if you hear back from them at all, or they tell you to contact the DOJ. The AG is doing nothing, and unfortunately, you can’t count on the DA to help, because they are almost always the very person that you are complaining about as well.

I have heard people say that there’s always someone else waiting to do the job who is going to be much better than they are, so let’s hire those people. Let’s replace those awful police officers, and police chiefs with much better officers, the DAs, AGs, governors and judges too, because nobody should ever have to deal with what we have. If they are elected into the position then they should be removed. If they aren’t elected they should be terminated. This is happening in the United Kingdom, London, England.

Now you can make light of this, and say it’s 1 in 43, or whatever the numbers average out to, but the point is that this is one too many. Abusers do not belong on the police force, or in any position where they would be investigating other domestic violence abusers. What would happen if we ran investigations in every single police department in the United States of America? Just how many officers do you think would be found to have domestic violence charges against them? How many police departments do you think are dismissing these officers, or are they just getting a slap on the wrist, and being allowed to continue with their job? Shouldn’t they be investigated properly, terminated, and arrested if necessary? How would you feel if you were a victim of one of these people, and nobody, not even their bosses did anything about this? Just like the United Kingdom, we should be investigating to see if there are domestic violence abusers working for America’s police departments.

Think about the news lately, or maybe something that you read online concerning domestic violence. When we see these articles, it is almost inevitable that they will lead to the victim’s death. It doesn’t have to be this way, and our lawmakers know this, so why haven’t they acted on it? Our lives have been turned upside down because of abuse. It has been one nightmare after another. I would not wish something like this to happen to anyone. If you know someone who is dealing with something like this, try to help them in any way you can. You could file a complaint on their behalf. You could call, or write to your state representatives, to the AG, or to the Governor. Contact the media, get them talking about this, because we aren’t seeing enough of this. The more the media talks about these kinds of things the better. We must not be silent if we witness an injustice, especially when they are coming from the very people who are supposed to be helping us. Help, because it’s the right thing to do.

Lilli is a Mom, Photographer, and an Advocate for victims of domestic violence, and animal rights.

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  1. R Reason

    You won’t publish what I really think.

  2. Janet

    Well written, and right on point. Thanks for bringing this injustice to light. If those in the legislatures and Congress would focus more on the problems of ordinary people instead of trying to score political points or promote an ideology, your issues could be addressed.

  3. Bill

    You couldn’t pay me to be a LE officer. When I was younger I thought the police were the bad guys. How Dare they stop me for speeding or running through a red light or a stop sign. How dare them. How dare these LE officers run TO a gunfight while everyone else runs AWAY! Yep those bad LE officers.
    After I grew up and quit doing stupid things I found out they aren’t here to give you a hard time, they have a job to do and I don’t envy them at all. Next time you need a LE officer call 1-800-ANTIFAS!


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