With cuffing season underway, Dallas singles may be wondering what is the best way to find a snuggle partner for the cold winter months ahead.
Many couples have success with online dating. A 2019 study led by Stanford researchers claimed that online dating outpaces traditional ways of meeting a spouse, such as in church or through family or friends.
From Thanksgiving to January, many singles ready to meet a ‘significant other’ flood to dating apps. In 2019, the dating app Bumble predicted it would see just over 3 million new registered users and 20 million messages sent during the winter months.
For those ready to reignite their dating profiles or create new ones altogether, dating coach and CEO of Sameera Sullivan Matchmaking instructs users to “be yourself.”
“Don’t post old pictures or crop out an old girlfriend,” advised Sullivan in an interview with The Dallas Express. “Also, no mirror selfies…you look like a narcissist.” Moreover, Sullivan urges users to be creative yet concise when crafting their profile because “no one wants to read a laundry list” and “everyone likes a little mystery.”
Moreover, Demarcus Smith, CEO of the Dallas-based matchmaking service Dating with Compatibility, claimed that not all online dating sites are created equal. Smith told The Dallas Express that singles should find apps centered around shared interests, such as Christian Mingle or Farmers Only.
However, the best way to master online dating is to “get off the [dating] apps,” wrote Harris O’Malley in his online advice blog. O’Malley claimed that many people treat dating apps like other social media when instead, they should be focusing on converting online connections into real-world ones as quickly as possible.
Sullivan agrees with this sentiment. In more than a few instances, people she has matched together had previously matched on dating apps but had stopped texting one another after a while.
“[Young people] are really good at texting and really good at matching, but they may be a little socially awkward and hesitant to meet one another,” said Sullivan.
According to internal statistics from the dating app ‘happn’, 58% of users waited up to a month before scheduling a date with one another.
“Succeeding on dating apps means that you need to develop your social skills. The same skills that help you succeed at meeting and connecting with people in person are the same skills that help you find your perfect match on Bumble,” wrote O’Malley.
Another concern with online dating is that people may not share similar intentions.
“Many people are on dating apps are just shopping and not interested in relationships,” observed Sullivan. Sullivan claims that because some people are not serious about their intentions, “ghosting” has become an issue for both men and women. A 2019 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that nearly a quarter of online users had been ghosted by another user via online dating.
Men and women face different challenges with online dating. An internal survey of consumer behavior on QuackQuack found that women swipe left on 96% of all profiles. On the other hand, women may become easily overwhelmed with matches and face a “paradox of choice,” becoming “unreasonably” picky when viewing dating profiles, as Linda Dodgson wrote in Business Insider.
“There are great men who are not six feet tall,” observed Sullivan.
Since the pandemic, Sullivan has noticed an uptick in younger audiences interested in matchmaking. She believes people are tired of going on 10 dates before meeting their person.
“Online dating is hard work. A lot of people are getting tired of app culture,” said Sullivan. “People are just swiping. It’s not really mindful. … They want something more curated.”
On the other hand, Smith believes deeper connections can be made in real life.
“The Social Tavern is a great place to meet singles because social is in the name,” said Smith. “People are expecting to speak to one another and won’t be offended if approached.”
Smith also recommended BoomerJacks, grocery stores, and Sweetgreen, a trendy salad spot. Even though a salad restaurant may not come to mind when looking for a partner, Smith claims there are “surprisingly a lot of singles there.”
When approaching a potential mate, Smith recommends against “giving the eyes” because even though it is meant to be romantic, it may appear weird.
“You’re essentially just staring at them,” Smith said. “Instead, ask how their day is or if they are from the area.”
Smith’s claim that real-world connections are deeper than ones developed through online platforms is supported by the findings of the Marriage Foundation. The study found that, since 2017, 28% of newlywed couples have met through an online platform. However, 12% of married couples who met online divorced within the first three years.
On the flip side, meeting people in the real world had more long-term success. The Marriage Foundation suggests this is proof that social capital remains important even in the modern world.
Whether through a dating app, a matchmaker service, or the real world, Sullivan suggested singles should first work on themselves before jumping into the crazy chaos of modern dating.
“A lot of people can attract the right partners, but can’t maintain the relationship. … Understanding yourself and your relationship patterns can help form deeper and healthier connections long-term.”
