Welcome to Burdet-tiquette, where Lisa Burdette, founder of The Dallas School of Etiquette and a mother of six with global expertise, answers your questions on the art of courtesy.

Reader Question: Jennifer, 41

I have two teenage sons who are glued to their phones, even at the dinner table or when guests come over. I don’t want to be the “nagging mom,” but I also don’t want to raise boys who are rude and distracted when people are talking to them. What’s the polite but firm way to set boundaries around phones at meals and social gatherings without causing a nightly battle?

Lisa’s Response

Always remember, you are the mom, and you have been anointed and appointed to instruct, lead, and guide. Do not worry about being a nag…you are mom.

You must give direction to your teenagers. It can take years to see and feel the fruits of these instructions. Parenting is hard, but parents must remember that parenting is not friendship. You are their parents.

CLICK HERE TO GET THE DALLAS EXPRESS APP

Yes, you are to love unconditionally, but do not worry if they like your instructions (chances are, they will not). Set boundaries for your teens. For example, tell them that phones are not allowed at the dinner table. Dinner is a special time to reflect, connect, and build lasting relationships.

Of course, there are special circumstances where your sons may be expecting an important call about their academic subjects. If this is the case, ask them to place their phones on vibrate and to place them face down in their laps. Make certain you follow the same rules and set a good example for your children. Teenagers watch to see if their parents will live out what they instruct their families to do. If parents do not set the example for their rules, then their instructions become powerless.

Parents, do not be afraid of battles. Sometimes it takes a battle to win a war. You want your children to battle with you and not society.

Missed the last column? Click here to read: Burdet-tiquette: Can You Ever Connect With Your Co-Workers?

Lisa Burdette is the founder of The Dallas School of Etiquette, where she trains everyone from executives to cadets in the timeless art of courtesy. A mother of six and a graduate of Auburn University, she has studied etiquette in London, Paris, Washington, and beyond. She believes true etiquette isn’t about being fancy — it’s about how you make people feel.

Readers can send their etiquette questions to [email protected]