Welcome to Burdet-tiquette, where Lisa Burdette, founder of The Dallas School of Etiquette and a mother of six with global expertise, answers your questions on the art of courtesy.
Have an etiquette question? Send your etiquette dilemmas to [email protected].
Reader Question: Linda, 55
My ex-husband, who remarried right after our divorce, will be at our son’s college graduation dinner in December. It will also be my first time meeting his new wife, who was involved in ending our marriage. How should I behave so I don’t cause a scene but still support my son?
Lisa’s Response:
When we are hurt by death or infidelity, we often carry our emotions into the lives of others because we want others to share our pain. This can happen whether we intend to do so or not. By carrying feelings of anger or sadness, you will affect your son.
When we hurt, we tend to make any occasion about ourselves instead of putting the focus on others. There is only one solution to this … forgiveness. Forgiveness is easy to say, but difficult to really accomplish. One must forgive quickly, love swiftly, and carry on with a desire to invest oneself in the lives of others.
As I mentioned above, you will affect your son if unforgiveness and anger remain in your heart. As hard as it may be, you must forgive and show kindness to your ex-husband and his new wife. Forgiveness must be a personal journey. This focus will grow your relationship with your son. Allow your son to see you rise to the occasion of celebrating his accomplishment and, at the same time, see you display social graces to those who may not deserve it.
Forgiveness is for your benefit. It will free you from your pain and allow for healing. Restoration will occur within your soul so that you can experience a full and enriched life, and you will have a better chance of celebrating a wonderful graduation with your son. He will know and feel love from both parents, and what has occurred in the past will not affect the joy of the day.
Make this special day joyful!
Missed the last column? Click here to read: Burdet-tiquette: Simple Etiquette Tips To Make You Stand Out To Potential Employers
About Lisa
Lisa Burdette is the founder of The Dallas School of Etiquette, where she trains everyone from executives to cadets in the timeless art of courtesy. A mother of six and a graduate of Auburn University, she has studied etiquette in London, Paris, Washington, and beyond. She believes true etiquette isn’t about being fancy — it’s about how you make people feel.
Readers can send their etiquette questions to [email protected]