If Dallas had royalty, Lisa Burdette would be its queen of courtesy.
From her perch at the Dallas School of Etiquette, Burdette has trained executives, CEOs, single moms, Army cadets, and recently, one determined chutney-making job candidate from India — all in the fine, fading art of etiquette.
Burdette told The Dallas Express over a lunch of bagels and eggs at Sadelle’s that etiquette is not about being fancy. “It’s about how you make people feel.”
And she should know. Burdette’s résumé reads like a globetrotter’s dream combined with the delicate edge of a Southern belle. She’s trained in London, Paris, Washington, and Georgia. She’s a mother of six, a graduate of Auburn, and an alumna of the British School of Excellence. Her clients include The Hockaday School, Toyota, and even a future ambassador to the U.K.
The New Face of Etiquette
While traditional etiquette schools often focus on children, Lisa says the game has changed. Her clients today are just as likely to be engineers, executives, or recent immigrants eager to master American customs.
People fly in from India, Japan, and beyond to learn from her — not just tea party etiquette but business branding, dating, and even how to get out of a car with dignity. (Tip: Back in, then swing the legs around. Do the reverse to get out. Think Marlene Dietrich, not Britney Spears in Paris Hilton’s car circa 2006.)
For Lisa, etiquette isn’t about stifling personality. It’s about empowering people to make lasting impressions without being remembered for the wrong reasons.
Dating and the Delicate Art of Chivalry
Lisa’s rules for romance are equal parts classic and surprisingly modern. First date? The man pays — “no split.” But in a same-sex couple, the inviter pays.
She advises her single female clients to remember that they control the message they put out into the world. The etiquette maven doesn’t scold, but she advises gals not to show up to a date with a blouse unbuttoned to the waist. “Dress like the kind of person you want to attract.”
As for compliments, fellas: “Don’t say your date looks ‘hot,’ say she looks nice.”
And gentlemen, yes, you should absolutely hold the door. If a woman protests, say “thank you” and politely stop.
However, Lisa says not to fret too much if a woman doesn’t like the door being held for her. “No matter how professional a woman is,” Lisa says, “I think deep in her heart, she respects it.”
Getting the Dream Job
“We didn’t teach obedience,” Lisa says matter-of-factly as if diagnosing a nation’s social decline in a New York-style deli. “Take an order! When your boss walks in, stand up!”
She speaks with ease about hosting bigwigs and preparing a job-seeking college grad to cold-call her way into medical sales — the same tactic, Lisa says, that helped her rise from secretary to consultant in just six months. Her secret? “Grit, determination, and work ethic.” And above all, never act like the world owes you anything.
“I tell young people all the time,” she says, “if you want to bypass your friends, become a problem solver.”
She recommends that job seekers learn about a company and their interviewer before they apply. Once thoroughly informed, she tells job seekers to use that knowledge to create a polished self-presentation; it worked for one South Asian client.
“You give a present to fill someone’s bucket,” she says, recalling one client from India who wanted to reinvent herself as “Miss Dallas.” Instead, Lisa helped her reframe her identity as an asset — advising her to bring a jar of her delicious homemade chutney to an interview and strike up a conversation about the Texas Longhorns (the interviewer’s favorite team).
“They’re gonna have chutney on their biscuits tomorrow morning instead of strawberry jam,” Lisa grins.
Office Advice and Clubbing Cautions
Lisa has zero patience for party talk in professional settings. “Don’t talk about what you did on Saturday when it’s Monday morning,” she warns. “And before you post anything, ask yourself: ‘Would I want my parents or future children to see this?’”
She’s equally clear on voicemail etiquette — no silly recordings.
When dining with friends or coworkers, dividing the check can be nerve-racking for anyone. Lisa says to follow the table’s flow with however your fellow diners are deciding to divide the bill. However, if there is a huge imbalance in how much someone ordered and you do not have the cash to split the bill evenly, Lisa says to quietly let the waiter know what you ordered and then let him decide how to divide the bill.
As for tattoos? “A friend of mine, a dermatologist, makes a lot of money removing them these days,” she says with a chuckle.
The Etiquette of Caregiving
Etiquette doesn’t stop at dinner parties. Lisa teaches grace even in life’s hardest moments — like when a loved one is slipping into cognitive decline.
“You handle them with pleasantries and joy,” she says. “Let others help, and laugh when you can.”
Being the Hostess with the Mostess… and also Being a Good Guest
Lisa’s etiquette blends charm with deep cultural awareness. She says hosts should never be caught flat-footed, “learn dietary restrictions ahead of time, offer water and restrooms as guests arrive… bring people into conversations, especially introverts.”
“Real manners are about how people feel,” she says.
She says the host will feel it if they have done well. “You should be exhausted by the end.”
On grace before meals, she doesn’t push belief but does insist on gratitude. “If you don’t believe in God, then have a moment of gratitude.”
As for the guests, “Give [even the most exotic food] a try.”
If it is against your faith to eat what is served, “politely decline,” Lisa says.
And Finally, the Smile
Lisa’s parting advice? “The most important thing someone can wear is a smile. And eye contact.”
She considers Emily Post a guiding star. However, where Post was stiff, Lisa is warm — and, as it turns out, a generous grader.
After a delightful lunch with this DX reporter, which included a textbook napkin fold, the gentle clink of cutlery placed at the “I’m finished” position, and a firm handshake, Lisa gave me an etiquette score of 10 out of 10.
Was she just being polite? Perhaps. But in a world where kindness counts — and your chutney might just land you the job — who’s keeping score?