A man charged with the brutal murder of 29-year-old Lauren Heike on a hiking trail in Phoenix, Arizona, reportedly struggled with “gender identity” and even expressed envy toward the victim’s beauty before the attack, according to recently released evidence.

Zion Teasley, 23, was arrested in April 2023 and charged with first-degree murder after law enforcement officials say he stalked Heike, chased her into a secluded area, reportedly through or over barbed wire, and then stabbed her 15 times from behind.

Detectives identified Teasley using DNA evidence found on one of the victim’s shoes, which had come off during the attack, and data placing his phone nearby at the time, according to a post from X user UnlimitedL’s.

Court documents show that Teasley kept a collection of personal writings that repeatedly referenced the killer’s deep internal conflicts over gender and religious beliefs. In one journal entry, Teasley wrote: I have been battling with my gender identity and sexuality. I am Christian, so this isn’t allowed. I want to live a life of serving GOD, but how can I with these and other sins in the way. I [know] I am forgiven for my sins. But it’s still a lot of pressure and it’s hard to maintain a good Christian mindset 24/7.

According to prosecutors, Teasley also wrote about his struggle with seeing women in public. In an interview with police following his arrest, when speaking about Heike, Teasley commented: “That’s what I would want to look like.”

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Teasley’s defense team has since begun referring to him using female pronouns in court filings, raising further debate around how “gender identity” is handled in the justice system. However, police continue to identify the suspect as male, as does his past criminal records.

Heike’s murder drew national attention last year after security footage showed a man following her along the trail shortly before the attack. A few days later, Teasley was located and quickly arrested.

He had dropped out of Marine Corps boot camp after only a few months. Teasley also has a prior conviction for armed robbery.

He has pleaded not guilty to Heike’s murder and is currently awaiting trial. A trial that his defense team continues to push back as Teasley has racked up two other additional criminal charges while behind bars.

During a court date in late April, Heike’s family pleaded with the judge to speed up the trial.

“Today marks the two-year anniversary of Lauren’s death, which is difficult for us,” said Lana Heike. “But we really want this to go to trial. We understand that the defense also needs time to prepare, but we were just shocked to hear that they’re asking for three years.”

This plea from the family appears to contradict Maricopa County’s initial promise.

“My heart goes out to the victim’s family and the pain they are experiencing losing their loved one in this manner. Our office will work diligently to seek justice for Lauren and her family,” Maricopa County Attorney Rachel Mitchell said in May of 2023.