I walked past the man before I realized he was the person I was meeting. I felt his stare and noticed the furrow of his brow. We spoke at the same time, “You must be….”
For a man who reportedly had a lucrative career that had gained momentum in the past couple of years and held a position on more boards than I have friends, he was not at all what I expected. I thought his voice would sound weightier, his posture more commanding. In truth, he blended into the background, and I was curious about how this may or may not have benefited him.
It did not take me long to realize that he was a talker. His stories revolved around others, mostly speaking to his success because of his staff’s hard work and his wife’s support. Although his career was important to him, his wife of three years was the game changer.
“Making money isn’t rocket science,” he told me. “You just have to do what others won’t and not give up. Your desire has to be stronger than your excuses.”
The man explained that he had the desire and learned how to discipline himself to make slow progress toward his professional goal each week. “It didn’t have to look fancy; it just had to be an improvement,” he explained.
He answered quickly when I asked what he attributes most to his success.
“Discipline, if you do it right, will enhance your talents. Talents will set you apart. But you will not get very far if you cannot communicate effectively and build relationships with people who know more than you in areas that are not your expertise. People think asking for help is a sign of weakness. I don’t see it that way,” he said.
“Asking for help enables you to tap into someone else’s talent, corroborate, and create something closer to your desired outcome than what you could have achieved alone,” the man added.
He smiled when I asked who was the most significant person he had ever collaborated with.
“My wife. She’s my secret weapon.”
“Secret weapon?” I asked.
“Danielle met me when I was loaded, but I didn’t become successful until I met her,” he chuckled. “She humbled me quick — she didn’t care who I was or even fully understand what I did. I was accustomed to talking about work 24/7. But I could tell Danielle’s eyes would start to gloss over the more I talked about budgets and forecasting.”
“And you claim you only became successful after meeting her. Explain,” I said.
“Danielle was working at the university library a couple nights a week and as a barista on Saturdays at a local coffeehouse. She was either in class, studying, or working, it seemed. Being several years older, I was already out of college and had just gotten promoted to a really good job. I met her at the coffee shop. I went almost every Saturday. After I ordered, she would jab at me, quizzing me about why I am always on my phone or in a hurry and if I ever actually tasted the coffee I ordered.” His smile returned. “She had me pegged from the start, I reckon.”
Listening and looking at the man, I could not picture him as being in a hurry or always on his phone. In fact, I was not even sure he was carrying a phone on him during our time together.
“I’ll tell you something,” he said, not really looking to see if I was listening. “That lady I met at the coffee shop, working two jobs and going to school, was one of the richest people I’ve ever met. Still is. That girl’s currency is her affection for people. Actually, she would say her love for Christ. And there isn’t anyone who has done more for me than she has.”
“In what ways?” I asked.
“Do you mean does she help me with my buiness? Yes and no. Danielle helps me with me, and that helps me with my business. In a world of grabbers, she’s a giver. She redefined what success is in my book. And as a result, everything changed, including me.”
“How?” I asked. “How have you changed?”
He looked at me. “You know, you are starting to sound a bit like my wife.” He smiled as he adjusted his glasses. “This isn’t a typical interview for me; I just want you to know.”
I didn’t say anything. He got the hint.
“Well,” he cleared his throat. “How have I changed? I discovered that Danielle measures a man by his love, not by his bank account. I couldn’t sweep her off her feet with money despite my best efforts. And man, did I try. Eventually, I noticed I was caring more about what Danielle thought of me than anyone else. She made me want to be a better person, and eventually, I became a better man. Still working on it, but I am much better than who I once was.”
“Who were you?”
“Respected by some, envied by others. Busy. Often bored without explanation. Frustrated despite having everything at my fingertips. I lacked for nothing, but nothing ever seemed to satisfy me for long.”
“And Danielle changed all that?”
“Yes and no. Danielle showed me what it looks and feels like to be loved — truly loved — in a way that this world cannot replicate or buy. Danielle introduced me to Jesus through her genuine love. And once I met and followed Jesus, I learned how to truly love Danielle. This is my greatest success.”
As I left the man, I could not help but think that possibly God had positioned Danielle at the coffee shop to one day meet the man who would become her husband. But more than that, for the man to meet the woman who would lead him to God.
We never know the weight of our influence, even if we think we have nothing to give that this world wants. God sets us upon paths and intersects us with people for reasons we may never fully understand. However, if we are obedient to lead in love and follow Christ in faith, we can trust that His providential care will accompany us as we journey from one day to the next. And in our todays and tomorrows, someone might be searching for something beyond their understanding. They might just come into your presence and experience Jesus’ love through you for the first time in their life.
We each have the ability and opportunity to lead by our love, apathy, or complaints.
What message do you share through your example?
This column was initially published by CherryRoad Media. ©Tiffany Kaye Chartier.